WHERE IS MY COCK?!
We get it. You are mad. Your coffee is missing and you are imagining life without caffeine which is basically a horror film. You spent your hard-earned money and now the tracking says something absolutely unhelpful like “In Transit” for six days or “Delivered” or "Attempt Made" but your hands are empty. We would be furious too. Trust us. We’ve yelled into a pillow because of USPS more times than we would like to admit.
This Is How It All Works And Why To Not Yell At Our Customer Service People
We roast amazing coffee. We pack it up like it is a priceless artifact. Then we hand it to USPS. At that exact moment we lose all control. It is now in the hands of a massive government shipping labyrinth that occasionally forgets where Earth is. We understand it is maddening. We drink coffee too. We need it to show up. But when something weird happens USPS is the only one who can actually fix it.
If Your Tracking Says Delivered But It Is Not There
Take a breath. This might not be a tragedy.
Sometimes USPS marks packages as delivered because they intend to deliver them later.
Sometimes they hide them in parcel lockers like it is a secret mission.
Sometimes your neighbor is now enjoying the seductive aroma of your Rising Cock Coffee by mistake.
Here is what works:
- Double check your address. Even heroes make typos.
- Ask thy neighbor, just don't be weird about it.
- Check every possible spot. Behind the plant. In the lobby. At the leasing office.
- Ask your local post office for a GPS scan. They can see the exact spot the carrier was standing when they scanned it. We cannot.
Most of the time the package shows up within a day or two like nothing ever happened.
If Tracking Is Stuck In Limbo
Sorting center. Infinite loop. Same status for five days.
We know the feeling.
This is where USPS customer support and your local branch become your best friends.
They have actual access to the mystery. We sadly do not.
We would love to personally hand-deliver every bag but until we are billionaires with a helicopter… we rely on USPS.
Why We Cannot Replace Or Refund Delivered Items
Once USPS announces that your package has reached its destination we are locked out of their system. We cannot file claims on delivered items. We cannot summon the package from the ether. As a small business that roasts to order we cannot replace or refund something that isn’t technically missing in their eyes.
We Do Want To Help
If USPS needs anything from us we will jump in. Send forms. Make calls. Whatever helps bring the beans home. We just ask that you start with the people who physically have the package. The United States Postal Service. The ones wielding scanners and parcel lockers.
Final Note From The Flock
We are ridiculously grateful you support a small coffee business run by humans and caffeine. We put love into every bag. Once it leaves our hands it is on a wild adventure to you. We just want it to get there and make your mornings better. If the postal gods get dramatic, thank you for keeping the pitchforks tucked away until USPS does their part.